How to remove popcorn ceiling

1. Procrastinate for several months because you know it is a loathsome job.
2. Finally motivate yourself by planning a big event that your home must be ready for (i.e. our small group from church needs a new, bigger place to meet in May).
3. Remove everything else from the room including inquisitive German Shorthaired Pointers or cover them with plastic (lots of fun with the GSP)
4. Find a garden sprayer and fill it with warm water. Liberally dampen large swathes of popcorn plastered ceiling. Try to keep it moist ’cause rumor has it that it might contain asbestos.
5. Scrape globs of white gelatinous plaster off the ceiling. Try not to inhale. After several globs fall in your eye, remember why you wore safety glasses last time.
6. Go back over every square inch of the ceiling several times with a sponge to mop up chalky white residue.
7. Survey the room with horror. It looks worse than when you started and now there are oozing heaps of white glop on your floor. Roll it all up in the plastic (remember to liberate the GSP) and put it on the curb for the garbage man to deal with.
8. Order pizza and lots of soda pop to wash down the asbestos gunk clogging your throat and lungs.
Note to self: Next time be wealthy enough to hire someone to do all your remodelling for you.

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One response to “How to remove popcorn ceiling

  1. How do I know if I have popcorn ceiling? I think I might.

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