Gone to the Dogs…

Hi, I’m Keegan. As you may remember, I am Nate and Deb’s German Shorthaired Pointer. I am taking over the blog just for today because I have good news and bad news.

First, the good news. I LOVE the mailman. When he comes everyday and walks up onto my porch I know that my job is to attack the front door and scare him off so he goes back to the street where he came from. I am so good at this job that the mailman always goes away! This week, Deb, bought me my very own mailman to play with. I have had so much fun with him. I immediately disemboweled him. Deb did surgery on him and put him back together so I could evicerate him again. Oh this is SO much fun!

Then there’s the bad news. Deb’s birthday was on Thursday and my other person, Nate, thought it would be a good idea to give Deb a new dog. What was he thinking? Am I not enough for her? Anyways, he found out about this Wiemaraner that needed a home. We all went in the car to visit her Thursday night.

At first I was unimpressed by this dog. Her name is ——(name changed to protect the not so innocent) and she’s about six years old. She is a couch potato. She’s so slow and chubby that I can run away from her in no time flat. I couldn’t believe it when Nate and Deb let her get in the car with us to come home. But I graciously let her sit in the back seat with me. It was all ok until the bitch tried to drink out of my water bowl in the back seat. There will be NONE of that! I growled at her and when she didn’t back down I kicked her ass. And I kicked it good. She’s such a wus!

Well, Deb & Nate sided with ——. What in the world?! Where have their loyalties gone? They pinned me down and disciplined me and cooed all over ——. Just because she didn’t get out of the way when I bit at her and I took a good bite out of her leg. So then we had to go the vet. And I had to stay in the car for a couple of hours. But at least they didn’t bring that bitch back home with us!

I thought I had proved my point that I am the only dog for this household, but wouldn’t you know, Friday morning Deb went and brought —– to my house. She has stitches and has to wear a cone on her head. She looks really silly.

You would think she had learned her lesson by now, not to mess with my stuff. But Saturday afternoon she went after my rawhide bone. Well, maybe it was her rawhide bone, but either way it was in MY yard. I bit her again and managed to open up her stitches. Now she’s at the vet again and Nate and Deb are trying to figure out what to do with her. I hope they send her back where she came from.

–Keegan, the diva dog


2 responses to “Gone to the Dogs…

  1. I have a feeling that I’m about to type sacrilege, but your (funnyily written) story reminded me why I’ve been extremely picky in my dog search, and don’t lament not finding one yet. But I know you guys are happy with the hairy energetic bundle of dog slobber, so I wish you well as your family adjusts. (-:

  2. PS: Tomorrow is our first official teacher workday, and the cherubs come back next Monday. I think this is mildly groovy, though I wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to be independently wealthy instead of teaching if it was offered.

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